Toast

Toast. How interesting. Oh I am so intersested in toast. It is the most brilliant thing in the world. It is so impressive. What would I care if "Pat's" bread company closed down? By the way, it should be: "Pat's, the most horrible bread in the world.

Unhealthy food

Here are some facts about unhealthy food:

-White toast contains plastic, and bleach.

-1 actimel contains more suger than a litre bottle of coke.

I bet you are surprised by those two facts, especially the second one.
They are both probably true, but the first one should have an "apparently" at the front of it. Though the second one, (the most suprising one) is most true. Say "piffle, she's talking nonsense", while I am telling you the truth. Well, you dont have to belive any of them, though as I said, they are probably true.

Latitude #2

Now that we've finished discussing Portable Toilets and all that, I have just got home from Latitude. It was dusty, dirty, boiling and it had the most great music. Midlake, The XX, Rodrigo y Gabriella, Belle and Sebastien, Wild Beasts, EVERYTHING! But the funny thing is that they have the most brilliant music for example say the XX were playing at 10:00. When you got back to the tent about 11:00, it is bad bad bad music, I mean like you think it cant get any badder music. How can people do that??? How can people be listning to GREAT music, and then listen to RRREEEAAALLLYYY bad music??? Well anyways, we got REALLY dirty, cos there were like 30000 people there, and there were eight showers in the entire site. We got one shower in the afternoon on Saturday and it was cold. All the showers were cold the people said. It was very bad for cleanliness. So the showers were NOT my favourite thing. Some people said the best time to go was midnight. You'd wake everyone up then. I think if I came back again I would stay in a caravan, not a tent.

Gmail Chat

Today my sister and I were sitting at two computers, right beside each other. Suddenly she asked me, "BLYTHE CAN WE DO GMAIL CHAT? That is DEFINATLY supposed to be in capitals.She must have thought I was an old man considering how loud she shouted. And shouting like that is VERY LOUD AND VERY ANNOYING WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO SEND YOUR FRIEND AN EMAIL. So I shouted back, "YES, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. And she says: "Blythe, you don't have to shout. I can hear you perfectly well. I snort. "Hello Mrs. Pig! giggle giggle giggle.", she says. The cheek! Well we just start chatting on gmail. This is how the conversation went:

Fern

Actions▼

me: I fern

My name is Blythe

I am eight years old

Fern: hiblythe

me: Will you be my friend?

Fern: frlkm,,j,thtjhki

d nebemjhruj3hy,ke4iu2hi

me: what is your name?

Fern: dhe

me: I like your t-shirt a lot

were are you from?

Do you speak English?

Fern: yes.

Me: Then why are you speaking the unknown?

You know what she does???

She signs out and says, "Blythe lets do somthing else."

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

I was recently watching the new version of Alice in Wonderland and I was surprised at how good it turned out to be. But the only frustrating thing is WHY IS A RAVEN LIKE A WRITING DESK?
why why why? I personally have no idea whatsoever. I think and think and I think but NO!. No idea still. Still no idea. Still no idea. I looked it up on google and one website said it is because they are both not made of cheese. Maybe it's that, because that is true. Now whenever anyone asks me the question I groan and get on with whatever I am doing. I am not wasting my time thinking an unanswerable question.

Vuvuzela Complaint

Dear Sir,
Thank you for your email.
We would like to remind you that our service is exclusively related to the ticketing for the FIFA World Cup 2010. Therefore, we will not be able to assist you further.
However, please note that we forwarded your request to the revelant department.
Kind Regards,
2010FWCTC.

Vuvuzela Comlaint.

Dear FIFA,
I am very truly annoyed by the noise that the vuvuzelas are making.
My opinion is that you should ban the horns.
I am very interested in football, and the World Cup plays a very important part in it; it only happens every four years.
But unfortunately, the vuvuzelas are spoiling it for everyone.
Everybody is against them.
I mean I was ordering a t-shirt for my friends birthday yesterday and one of them said: Vuvuzelas be gone!
How do you like that?
I have heard that they are as loud as and aeroplane taking off right beside you which is pretty loud and the damage is done to your ears in FIFTEEN MINUTES!
I really hope you ban them,
Blythe Stewart.

Manuka Honey #2

Manuka Honey factory,
Manchester,
England.

To Miss Blythe Stewart,
I am afraid I cannot do anything to help for if we stop selling Manuka Honey even for a second we will lose 1001010010000018888881881991716155134566300000727272881772817728172 £ and we can NOT afford to lose that much money.
I am sorry that I can not do anything to help for I can feel your sadness and I am suffering because of it.
Best Wishes,
John Sweet-titch.
(John Sweet-titch)

Latitude

Me and my family are going to a music festival in England called Latitude.
My Dad keeps buying thing we probably will need like torches, sleeping bags, tent, (we are going camping) and my Mum keeps buying things we probably won't need like portable toilets when we have no place to empty it and we have perfectly good toilet blocks. (According to the website: http://latitudefestival.co.uk/home/index.aspx) We were going to go camping yesterday but it rained so we couldn't go and me and my sister were so sad that my Mum and Dad got out the BIG BIG tent, compared to out kiddy tents at least. We decided to camp in the back garden in the tent tonight so then out Mum and Dad slept with us. My Mum got up in the middle of the night and went into the house because she was too uncomfortable and then my Dad did the same thing and of course he couldn't leave us on our own so we had to go in. I was quite happy about it because my back was sore from sleeping on the ground because we couldn't find the air bed but my sister was screaming and crying at 4:00 in the morning on a Sunday because she couldn't stay in the tent.
So that is how our first camping trip turned out.

Manuka Honey #1

Miss Stewart,
123 Gordan Brown is so Handsome Street,
Galway, Ireland.

Dear Manuka Honey,
I need your help badly.
My sister is bonkers about Manuka Honey and I hate it!
The reason that is so bad is because then my Mum says that I should be a good little girl, (Even though I am 9 which is big enough) and that I should eat honey and be good like my sister. (Who is 5 and is 4 years younger than me). If she was to hate the honey like me, then I wouldn't have such a bad time because then if we both hated it then our Mother would not buy the honey and then we wouldn't have to eat it. But she buys it because Fern (my sister) likes it.
So, I need you do stop selling it in Super Value and Dunnes Stores, because if my Mother knows they are not being sold in Super Value and Dunnes Stores she will think that they are not selling tham any more because they are the only shops she thinks that sells them.
Please contact me as soon as possible,
Kind Regards,
Miss Blythe Stewart.

Littlest Pet Shops

My sister is mad for "Littlest Pet Shops."
They may be cute, but that is no excuse for having a HUGE head, eyes too big for their HUGE head, and tiny bodies. (compared to their HUGE head at least).
The other bizarre thing about them is that they are supposed to be pets but since when has a walrus been a pet? Or a seal? Or a lion? Or a etc, etc?

THE HABIT...

I have a bad habit.
And my bad habit is: screeching at the wrong time.
My Mum says "It is inappropriate Blythe, so just stop it and give my poor ears a break!"
My Dad is at work when this is going on, which my mum says is GOOD, so that he doesn't have to bear the screeching.
Which I think is silly because I think he would choose to be at home even if it means having to listen to me screeching all day,
I mean if I had the choice between listening to my little sister screech at the wrong times than go to school I would choose listening to my sister screeching because I could just go up to my bedroom.
I know I have a bad habit but sometimes I just think...

GROWNUPS!

Hygienically Wrapped Toothpick

A Hygienically Wrapped Toothpick. Really. It's probably just a teeny weeny toothpick wrapped in some un-eco paper. And please tell me why you would wrap a toothpick?
In most "normal" pubs or cafes they just have a little bowl full of toothpicks.
But that is only "normal" pubs or cafes.
This one is obviously a weird one.

Adorability

Today (a Friday in fact) my sister asked me: "Am I adorable Blythe?"
Now that's a good question.
I say: " Sometimes." That's truthful because if I had said yes, that would be lying, and I NEVER lie.
She asks: "What do you mean sometimes?"
Another brilliant question.
I take a moment to think and then answer: "Because you are not adorable all of the time."
She asks me: "At what times am I not adorable?"
Now this a great question, but very hard to awnser.
So I say: "When you have your distinguished tantrums."
And that was the end of that.

Intergalactic Whiteboard

In some schools, they have intergalactic whitebords.
Of course they are not part of the school, they are part of the Galaxy.



That is a picture of a whiteboard.
Do you like it?
It was the best one I could find.
I pity the intergalactic whiteboard.
I am proud of its bravery.
I envy its whiteness.

Panckes.

On Sunday I made pancakes. I know pancakes NEVER taste great without maple syrup, but unfortunately I had no maple syrup left, so I ate them with butter and sugar.
It did taste delicious, but definitely not as delicious as maple syrup.
Here is a picture of them:

Luton Airport

To: Ms. Stewart.
We are sorry to inform you that cheaper overweight luggage is only for first class passengers. We also know that if you hadn't come from Australia, then you would have hd to pay £800.
Regards,
Aer Arann.